Wondering how to flirt? It’s not as easy as David Beckham would make it seem.
Here is the definitive guide on how to flirt:
When guys are looking for ways to get a girl to like them, they sometimes overlook fundamentals. One of the most crucial aspects of getting the girl of your dreams is the art of flirting. Flirting is important because it often takes place during the first few crucial minutes of meeting the girl. If you can’t flirt then you’ll have a tough time getting the girl to feel attracted to you. However, many guys go about flirting the wrong way: often coming on too strong or appearing inauthentic. Here is how to flirt like a pro.
Be Cool
The most common mistake I see guys make is appearing interested too early in the interaction. If you show interest too soon, it shows the woman that you’re desperate. It also makes you look like you have rock-bottom standards. Remember: you want her to be chasing YOU.
Want to flirt with her? I bet you do!
To do that, you need to walk a very thing line between disinterest and flirting. Many men overcompensate for their insecurities here and end up acting too cool for school. Obviously, acting like you’re better than the person you’re talking to is going to be a huge turn off. It may seem a bit weird, but the most effective way to learn where the line is is to watch movies featuring cool guys. Think James Bond, James Dean and Jason Bourne. These men aren’t rude or uncouth. Instead, they act like they are the man (because they are) and aren’t afraid to show it. Internalizing their body language, tone of voice and their words is a fantastic way to strike the perfect balance that’s so key for flirting.
Use Touch
People don’t just want to be touched, they NEED to be touched. Obviously, it’s important not to do anything inappropriate, but a few light touches can take an interaction from blah to blam! Touching shows that you’re confident and even conveys a sense of trust. The best way to use touch is to simply be more playful. Try to flick, lightly punch and grab the girl. These help establish a physical bond without being creepy or needy. Don’t underestimate the power of light touch when flirting. I estimate that physical aspects of flirting account for 45% of success or failure.
Choose the Right Words
The words you choose tell a lot about who you are as a person. Do you constantly say tired platitudes like “that’s cool?” If so, it may be time to mix up your vocabulary. Amazingly, it doesn’t take a whole lot to get your language to stand out from the pack. Just using a few bizarre phrases is enough to separate you from the other yawn-inducing guys out there. One way to get a hang of this is to listen to cockney English. They are incredibly creative with their wordplay and automatically separate themselves from everyone else by speaking their own brand of English.
Use Body Language
A University of Toronto research study found that you communicate more through body language than the words that come out of your mouth. That’s why you need to start using body language to convey the message that you can’t do through words. Many men say all the right things, but their body language tells a completely different story. This can make you come off as fake of phony. Be sure that you are aware of your body language and that it matches what you say.
Be Playful
Flirting is really a dance in which you’re playing a role. Choose a role that’s fun, playful and non-needy. How to flirt really comes down to being a bit more fun and care-free than most other guys. Be sure not to take yourself too seriously. Overly serious guys are those that take jokes and jabs personally. Remember: she’s going to test you with different light insults. How you respond to these will make or break your flirting efforts. When in doubt, don’t be afraid to laugh, even if her joke has a harsh bite. Instead of getting mad or hurt, just brush it off and dish out some of your own flirtation ammo.
Don’t Be Needy
One of the most common mistakes guys make (at least those that don’t understand how to flirt) is getting clingy and attached soon after flirting begins. Let’s say you meet a cute girl and you’re flirting, laughing and making a connection. Once you get the signal that she likes you, now it’s time to show some disinterest. No need to be rude or uncouth, but don’t take her signals of interest as an invitation to make her the center of your universe. You can show disinterest without giving off a poor impression by checking your text messages while she talks, looking at other girls in the room and mentioning your ex-girlfriend.
Then you’ll definitely know how to flirt more than most men!